Living Gracefully

IMG_0115Graceful is not a word I’d ever use to describe myself – as a teen, a young woman or someone in the throes of midlife. Never had much style, coordination, or panache – things I once associated with grace. Am I aging gracefully? Am I embracing getting older with any decorum or style? I’m certainly embracing midlife with more authenticity than my early years. Why? I think my definition of grace has changed.

Grace is the space where I’m comfortable in my skin. The past no longer defines me. My mistakes are now experiments expanding my comfort zone. The recovery process (which I’ve mentioned in previous posts was from food addiction, perfectionism, codependency, relationship addiction, & abandonment issues) had released a grand scale of introspection and hindsight – two key elements to living in the grace that allows me to be transparent with those I work with, counsel, and in my writing. Grace is an attitude that allows others to be who they are in my life without impacting my joy and peace and allows forgiveness to be active in my relationships.

Thoughts living gracefully:
1) Know thyself. Work a program that will allow you to discover your motivation, desires, dreams and emotions.

2) Allow yourself to feel. Denying or postponing your emotions is a pathway to poor coping habits that will only hinder you on the path to creating and living a life that you enjoy.

3) Take control of distorted thinking. Understand that your negative or positive self-image is something everyone else sees no matter how hard you try to project another persona. Your self-talk influences all you do.

4) Recognize your values. Trade compromises, people pleasing actions, should haves and have to’s for actions that truly represent your cores values.

5) Take advantage of hindsight. The past remains with us for a reason. It can hold you back or take you past your comfort zone into creative pursuits you may have never imagined.

6) Be unstoppable. Realize that your opinions, your art, your work, your experiences – your voice matters and using that voice will strengthen not only yourself but others exposed to your vulnerability.

7) Be selfish. Don’t compromise on the time you take to discover you. After all, that time will result in the best version of you and everyone benefits – kids, spouses, partners, friends, the workplace.

8) Boycott ‘busy’ and ‘multi-tasking.’ Both behaviors interfere with how present you are for your life which is happening right now. You’ll experience a different quality of life when you engage fully in the person or experience in front of you.

9) Declare yourself. If you’re a writer, say so, a artist, speak it. There’s no more time for “Well, I like to _____’ or ‘I’m sort of good at _____.” At this point you either are or are not so tell the world and pursue it.

10) Risk love. Yup, I know. Take a leap for love and there could be (will be) hurt. There comes a time when you realize that there is no permanent downside to loving others when you’re living gracefully – aware of who you are and what you want in your life.

Need program suggestions? There are thousands like AA, Alnon, CODA, Celebrate Recovery, Who Am I?, Creative Recovery or a good read on the subject is also Turning Pro

How are you living gracefully? Your sharing blesses us all!

Create joyfully today!

– Carol

© 2013 Carolyn Moore

“Creativity is contagious pass it on” ~ Albert Einstein

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  1. #1 by afterthekidsleave on March 27, 2013 - 10:08 am

    Wonderful…and I like your focus on inner, rather than outer, grace.
    Karen

  2. #4 by Lois on March 27, 2013 - 10:28 am

    As someone who trips over her own feet, I so appreciate the idea that real grace comes from within. Beautiful piece.

    • #5 by Carolyn Moore on March 27, 2013 - 1:10 pm

      I truly understand this, Lois! My dad used to call me Grace during my teen years because I couldn’t walk through the house without hitting a wall or a piece of furniture or tripping. Damaging those comments might have been at the time, I appreciate grace in a much different way now!

  3. #6 by Generation Above Me (@TheGenAboveMe) on March 27, 2013 - 10:32 am

    I am just beginning to see the power in declaring myself. But you help me bring it into greater focus. I like all of your posts, but that was the “whoa” moment for me. Thanks for taking the time to articulate your insights on the topic!

    • #7 by Carolyn Moore on March 27, 2013 - 1:08 pm

      Thanks, Karen, for sharing! I can relate to the ‘whoa’ moments. I’ve had several since I began the recovery journey and come out as a writer!

  4. #8 by Raquel @ Organized Island on March 27, 2013 - 11:14 am

    I agree that grace is truly an attitude. I love your thoughts too!

  5. #10 by Amanda Fox on March 27, 2013 - 4:36 pm

    I like all of your recommendations. My fav’s are “take control of distorted thinking” – we all do that sometimes. And “be unstoppable”. So true. No one can stop you but you. Great post. 🙂

    • #11 by Carolyn Moore on March 27, 2013 - 10:39 pm

      Thanks, Amanda! I stopped by your awesome blog. Love your image of 70, 80, and even 90. I hope to follow my grandmother, Ann (100) and great grandmother, Bessie (103)to an active, graceful, [older] age.

  6. #12 by Pat on March 28, 2013 - 12:48 pm

    Amen, Carol! Know thyself and then declare yourself…that to me says it all.

    • #13 by Carolyn Moore on March 28, 2013 - 4:43 pm

      Thanks, Pat! I’m glad this piece resonated with so many. I’m off to check out your offering on the subject and more of the Gen Fab group!

  7. #14 by Sisters From Another Mister on March 31, 2013 - 10:26 pm

    I am going to print out a list with those headings, they would be like new commandments for me – seriously.
    Love where you took this, and accountability for myself is needed .. .and a little me time.

    • #15 by Carolyn Moore on April 1, 2013 - 8:44 am

      Thanks, Nicole! Recovery has been a very enlightening process for me and it’s a lifelong journey. I love sharing it – yes, accountability, the place where I finally feel like I became a grown-up woman versus a little girl in a woman’s body reacting to the world around her. 🙂 Get that ‘me’ time. Love your blog, BTW, http://www.sistersfromanothermister.com/blog/. (Awesome logo too!) Checking all GenFabs little by little!

  8. #16 by beverlydiehl on April 1, 2013 - 9:50 am

    SO many good points here, but I especially like “be unstoppable” and be “selfish.” Too often we allow the little voice of fear to shut down our soul need to pursue our art, or try to be so good and self-sacrificing there isn’t any of US left.

    • #17 by Carolyn Moore on April 1, 2013 - 12:19 pm

      Thanks, Beverly, for the feedback! Yes, I agree! As women we tend to get wrapped up in our roles as nurturers, providers, lovers and hindered by our past and we (I) lose myself in the process.

  9. #18 by Ginger Kay on April 1, 2013 - 1:17 pm

    I love your focus on the inner graces, and especially #3. Most of us waste too much time and energy believing our own lies.

    • #19 by Carolyn Moore on April 1, 2013 - 10:07 pm

      We absolutely do – because they are our truth regardless of how false these beliefs actually are. I believe that rewriting those distorted scripts has been an invaluable part of my recovery work. Thanks for sharing.

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