Archive for category Learning

A Change for the Better!

Defying Gravity has officially moved from to CarolynWords
I’d love it if you’d stay on board as a reader so visit the new site and subscribe via RSS, Twitter, or email.
Don’t ever stop creating joyfully!
– Carol


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Living Gracefully

IMG_0115Graceful is not a word I’d ever use to describe myself – as a teen, a young woman or someone in the throes of midlife. Never had much style, coordination, or panache – things I once associated with grace. Am I aging gracefully? Am I embracing getting older with any decorum or style? I’m certainly embracing midlife with more authenticity than my early years. Why? I think my definition of grace has changed.

Grace is the space where I’m comfortable in my skin. The past no longer defines me. My mistakes are now experiments expanding my comfort zone. The recovery process (which I’ve mentioned in previous posts was from food addiction, perfectionism, codependency, relationship addiction, & abandonment issues) had released a grand scale of introspection and hindsight – two key elements to living in the grace that allows me to be transparent with those I work with, counsel, and in my writing. Grace is an attitude that allows others to be who they are in my life without impacting my joy and peace and allows forgiveness to be active in my relationships.

Thoughts living gracefully:
1) Know thyself. Work a program that will allow you to discover your motivation, desires, dreams and emotions.

2) Allow yourself to feel. Denying or postponing your emotions is a pathway to poor coping habits that will only hinder you on the path to creating and living a life that you enjoy.

3) Take control of distorted thinking. Understand that your negative or positive self-image is something everyone else sees no matter how hard you try to project another persona. Your self-talk influences all you do.

4) Recognize your values. Trade compromises, people pleasing actions, should haves and have to’s for actions that truly represent your cores values.

5) Take advantage of hindsight. The past remains with us for a reason. It can hold you back or take you past your comfort zone into creative pursuits you may have never imagined.

6) Be unstoppable. Realize that your opinions, your art, your work, your experiences – your voice matters and using that voice will strengthen not only yourself but others exposed to your vulnerability.

7) Be selfish. Don’t compromise on the time you take to discover you. After all, that time will result in the best version of you and everyone benefits – kids, spouses, partners, friends, the workplace.

8) Boycott ‘busy’ and ‘multi-tasking.’ Both behaviors interfere with how present you are for your life which is happening right now. You’ll experience a different quality of life when you engage fully in the person or experience in front of you.

9) Declare yourself. If you’re a writer, say so, a artist, speak it. There’s no more time for “Well, I like to _____’ or ‘I’m sort of good at _____.” At this point you either are or are not so tell the world and pursue it.

10) Risk love. Yup, I know. Take a leap for love and there could be (will be) hurt. There comes a time when you realize that there is no permanent downside to loving others when you’re living gracefully – aware of who you are and what you want in your life.

Need program suggestions? There are thousands like AA, Alnon, CODA, Celebrate Recovery, Who Am I?, Creative Recovery or a good read on the subject is also Turning Pro

How are you living gracefully? Your sharing blesses us all!

Create joyfully today!

– Carol

© 2013 Carolyn Moore

“Creativity is contagious pass it on” ~ Albert Einstein

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Leaping into Creativity

© 2013 Carolyn Moore

Today is the first day of my new life. Life without a steady job – intentionally pursuing a lifestyle that I find joy in – writing & encouraging other creative people to take risks and share their stories and their art with this chaotic world – a world that is desperately seeking connection and meaning.

Risky? Yes, because as most people have, there are bills to pay, mouths to feed, and cars to keep running. Worth it? Absolutely. At this point in my life I’m more aware of how precious time is and I won’t waste a moment more on unfulfilling pursuits. I’m ready to expose myself to the world to make a difference. Fear of failure? Absolutely present, but I rely on the accounts of other artists and innovators (ie. Stephen King, Joyce Carol Oates, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison) who have illustrated that what we term as failures are truly the learning process that leads to successes. I also firmly believe in my calling to encourage other women and my need to pursue this full-time.

So let the fun begin! I’m looking forward to the stretching, the growing pains, and the learning – and hope to stir up others along the way.

What are YOU creating today? What motivates you to create?

Create joyfully today!

– Carol

© 2013 Carolyn Moore

Favorite post of the day:
If you’re a writer, read and share fellow Burlington College alum Kristi Petersen Schoonover’s post – Writers: 7 hardly-mentioned tips for submitting to zines. Kristi is an amazing fiction writer whose horror prose is jaw dropping. I highly recommend reading her book Skeletons in the Swimmin’ Hole: Tales from Haunted Disney World.

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The Happiness Factor

Yes, the second part of the recovery series will be coming this week, but I just had to go out on a tangent and share this video. Entertaining and inspiring. It’s a TEDTalk video about happiness. I had just said to my friend Debra last night that all our humorous speeches for the Toastmaster’s Humorous Speech contest were anecdotal in nature and while they had a point, there were not speeches per se. I think qualifies as a humorous speech. – Carol

The Happy Secret to Better Work

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It’s been a while since I posted a new thought. In the past, I would have written the whole blog off as a failure and have started up something new, but at the beginning of this adventure, I made sure to let a generous amount of people know what I was planning. A bit of accountability? Maybe.

I’ve been giving the word failure a lot of thought lately. I hear people talk about how they are afraid of taking risks because they are afraid to fail. If I could impart any wisdom, I’d say, just jump in and just go for it. This, from a former – do the ‘safe’ thing proponent. Yeah, there will be some failures, but let’s keep it in perspective. You need some failed attempts to get to the success part.

I’m trying not to think of anything in terms of failure anymore since the word itself evokes such a feeling of shame and embarrassment in most people. I try to relegate failure to things that are quantitatively measureable like a blood test, a science experiment, an inedible cooking experience, or an exam. What I want to do is reframe my assessment of the situation when I don’t meet my expected outcome so that my desire to move forward is not hampered by the misery the word failure evokes.

Some of this inspiration has come from Thomas Edison, who bravely experimented again and again and again until he finally succeeded in improving the light bulb. Referring to his experience he said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Edison understood that failure was an integral part of the process. I’ve also been inspired by Joyce Carol Oates and Stephen King who appear to write non-stop. Not all of what they publish is great or even good, but they continually produce so they are always moving forward. Oates said, “”I’m drawn to failure. I feel that I’m contending with it constantly in my own life.” Is she drawn to failure or drawn to the possibilities that exist in the journey itself?

Taking the power out of the word failure may leave us freer as artists to enjoy the actual process of creating instead of putting so much emphasis on the final product and how it works or how it is received. Regardless of success or failure each experience is a part of us and therefore has tremendous value in our creative lives. And isn’t that the point, after all? This journey of creativity, though we share our work with others, is about us either literally or figuratively and though the risks are great, the rewards of expression are far greater.

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